A forgotten past


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DSCN1548-001A Forgotten Past


There was once a moonlit street I traveled

and forgot

There was a glance that lingered on her raven hair and eyes

made me hold my breath

and was gone

I dance with memories that I vaguely feel are mine

but I cannot be sure are from this lifetime

or rather extend from my forgotten past

eternally stored by my  immortal soul.

They shimmer and tease

Producing those rare déjà vu moments

when two undying souls meet

painful yet cherished.

For I feel you as a part of me

a soothing, exciting, familiar dream

unexplainable by this life I’ve lived

I feel you over the miles – tethered to me

And this desire feels not new, but rekindled–awakened

Your mind and mine have met

but the matter in this body does not remember

It has been said that the most useless things in the world

are the most beautiful

like lilies and peacocks

So it may also be that the most powerful love

is timeless, boundless, and mysterious

like ours



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This was written about a particular person who shall remain unnamed, but could equally apply to any of those moments when I know I’m falling in love.  I never did date the woman I wrote this about as she was involved with a friend, but I was madly infatuated with her for a period of time.  I hope she is doing well.



I see her everyday.

In front of me while buying groceries.

I talk to her.

Her laugh is in front of me as well.

The sparkle of her eyes–Oh how it warms me.

Her smile I cannot resist, nor the shape of her as she ties her shoes.

The blush caused by the sun or a well-timed comment.

The anguish, the hope, and uncertainty in her voice draw me in.

I want to kiss her–make love to her.

I want to soothe her when she is in pain.

I want her to soothe me.

And tomorrow I want to see her again.



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Please let me hurt few people along my journey

Please let me find more courage and wisdom along the way

Please help me say “I love you” more, and mean it

Please accept my failings for they are many

But please also know my feelings are deep and genuine

Please allow kindness and love to soothe my troubles

And allow my kindness and love to soothe others

Let me learn the necessity of hardship

without making me hard

Keep showing me the glory of your creation

and allow me the continuing wonder of a child

Let me be aware always that I am fallible,

but let me not dwell on my faults

Know that I still feel and want all the glory of love

And help me be worthy of those that give it to me

I hope that this simple prayer finds a way to bring happiness

to me

–and those I love.

The Witching Hour


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How do I explain my inability to express the feelings of bards?

My heart wells and wails

with futile anguish

My soul screams

my hands and head refuse to cooperate

Tis late

much past the witching hour

when only the lost and tortured are awake

I dream living dreams and escape to lost love

I find serenity in my Montana mountains

I allow myself to talk to God and wonder about his creation

I wander the empty halls of my past

until gentle, sometimes troubled sleep takes me to another day

Lilac Clouds


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View from the Veranda

View From the Veranda

Dance with me beneath the salmon sky

Celebrate His gift with abandon

Let our laughter and love

Soar and Echo in those lilac clouds


Let us continue to dare a love

so few would accept

Cast aside your cares, doubts, worries and fears

in this dawns healing light

Allow your heart to feel again

That we are true and real

Harbor not secret fears and doubts

But release them

to God and to me

For together we make this love sacred

and alone we are nothing and helpless

Take time to reflect, not on what is not

But what is and will be

And as we count to three and seventeen

As you walk to the veranda

Take my hand

And know that I will not let go

For you are never too far, nor out of reach

You are always with me

Carried safely in my heart

Would you vote for Hitler or Stalin – Lesser Evils and Hobson’s Choices


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I had a conversation with my brother recently that reminded me so much of my disagreement with my mother about Obama 3 ½ years ago, except this time I was explaining why I will not vote for Mitt Romney even though I think Obama has been a disaster for anyone that believes in peace and liberty and sound economics.

“But Romney is the lesser of two evils”, quacked my  brother – using the same tired and unsound reasoning the establishment and statist types rehash every four years.  This reasoning, if it can be called reasoning at all, has led to the perpetuation of the left/right, republican/democrat pendulum swing where each election the State grows in power, size, and scope and our liberty is eroded bit by bit.  Hobson’s choices.

Voting Against vs. Voting For – The Lesser of Two Evils

For dozens of years now, approximately one half of all voters in American presidential elections vote against a candidate rather than for a candidate.  Just over ½ of the voting age population votes in Presidential elections (and the voting age population represents about 65-70% of the entire population).  Given that each candidate in Presidential elections typically obtain just over ½ of the votes (or about 33% of the total population), that means that in any given Presidential election only 16% of the nation’s population is voting FOR a particular pre-approved candidate.

Clearly something is wrong with this picture.  Many people have become justly disillusioned and concluded that the political system is controlled by the establishment parties and their corporate, special interest and banking benefactors that produce in perpetuity two candidates that are both advocates of increased State power.  Of course the influential benefactors expect certain “returns on investment”.  Many voters, including myself, have thereby concluded that it no longer matters which of the Republicrats win, for liberty is always diminished and the State always expands.  Every year. Every election.

Every President since I was legally permitted to vote has involved our military in military conflict or outright war (Reagan; Lebanon, Grenada, El Salvador, Nicaragua – Bush I; Iraq – Clinton; Iraq, Serbia, Somalia – Bush II; Iraq, Afghanistan – Obama; Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, Yemen, Pakistan with Syria and Iran on deck).  Each President has subscribed to crony capitalism/fascism, welfarism (corporate and/or individual), increased bureaucracy, increased national debt (this has risen under every President, even Clinton), increased spending and borrowing, Keynesian monetary policies and an unaccountable and secretive Federal Reserve.

Each President has expanded executive power and assaulted our constitutional rights so we now have such Orwellian named things like the Patriot Act which among other things eviscerates the Fourth Amendment and negatively affects the First and Sixth Amendments as well.  We have also seen Congress recently pass the National Defense Authorization Act which is one of the greatest assaults on civil liberties in our history as well as the Federal Restricted Buildings and Grounds Improvement Act which makes protest illegal and is another assault on the First Amendment. We now have Fusion centers that spy on peaceful Americans including Ron Paul supporters. The State has drastically increased its domestic surveillance and spying.  The last two Presidents (one from each party) support the suspension of habeas corpus/detentions without trial.   Both Bush and Obama advocated military drone use domestically.  Both recent Presidents allowed renditions and torture, although Obama likes to call them enhanced interrogations.  And now we have a President that claims the authority to engage in extrajudicial killings, including American citizens.

Many voters thought Obama was the lesser of two evils in 2008 as he campaigned against torture, the surveillance state, etc.  He falsely promised a more open and transparent government.  But in nearly every way he has been worse than Bush when it comes to increasing State power and diminishing liberty.  He picked up where Bush left off and the transition between the supposed opposites has been seamless.  If you were concerned about the every growing reach and power of the State, voting for Obama as a “lesser evil” was a pipe dream.  If you thought as a lesser evil, he would be less war mongering, have another toke on that pipe.  Likewise, if you had voted for Bush over Gore or Kerry because he was the “lesser evil” when it came to deficit spending and smaller government, you were fooled again.  Spending increased faster than under ANY previous President until Obama.  Bush wasn’t a small government conservative; he was a big government disaster.  And Obama has shown he will sacrifice nearly the entire Constitution on the holy altar of national security, something the Republicans are more known for.

Yet each election someone tells me I have to choose for the lesser evil.  Each time the storyline is false.  Once in office, the supposed free market, small government Republicans increase the size and scope of the State.  Despite their rhetoric Republican presidents spend as much or more than the supposed big spending liberal Democrats people thought they were denying office.  The Democrats supposedly value civil liberties protection and are less warlike. Yet Democrat presidents have traditionally involved the nations in more frequent and larger wars (Wilson and WWI, FDR and WWII, Truman and Korea, LBJ and Vietnam) and give us increased police state legislation.  I suppose it’s to counter the false “soft” image.  Or maybe they just know what Randolph Bourne so eloquently stated, “War is the health of the State.”  Each party expands the power and size of government in a never ending voter purchase program – and always at the expense of freedom and a cost of more debt.  And I am told I must buy into this system or the “more evil” side will win.

And with each cycle we become less free, more regulated, and poorer both economically and morally.

Operational Insanity

Plunder, special interest pandering and exploitation have become commonplace in the halls of American government.  Oh the two parties argue over gay rights, abortion, and some minor differences in foreign policy, but the essential and fundamental system remains in place and the same.  Both parties kowtow to the same major corporate donors (who contrary to established meme actually gave more money to Obama than McCain in the last election), banks, and special interest groups.

Can anyone honestly remember a candidate that kept even a small fraction of his campaign promises?  No.  Because they never intend to keep them!  The promises are for the sheep voters, who each candidate knows they can then ignore for the next 3 years once they obtain office.  Each election the rhetoric is spewed and dished out and each time a delusional populace eats the crap fed to them and believes THIS time will be different. Each election reinforces Einstein’s definition of insanity-doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results.

I unplugged from the Matrix

For a significant segment of the population we are given the false choice between two equally unpalatable candidates and told to vote for the “lesser of two evils”.   The fact is we are given two corporate establishment choices that pander and lie to obtain votes and then go right about the business of ignoring the people and obeying their corporate-banker masters.  The State grows more powerful, liberty is decreased – every time.  And yet I am urged to vote for the one who will chain me less tightly.  No thanks.  I have taken the red pill and removed myself from The Matrix thank you.

Years ago I decided that I refuse to participate in the fraud of a false choice between two equally corrupt candidates.  I do not vote for the lesser of two evils.  I will not pretend to believe that evil is not evil or that by voting for a supposed “lesser evil” (which is often not the case examined four years later) I am better off.  I will not vote for someone I know intends to harm me.  THAT is insanity, but millions buy into the illusion that this is the only alternative.

If I cannot vote for someone, such as Harry Browne or Ron Paul, who sincerely advocates individual freedom, both economic and personal, I withhold my vote.

I claim my personal freedom by withdrawing my participation in a rigged contest between two liberty hating Statists.

I remain free from false choices because I will not make them.

Telling me that things will be only slightly less horrible if I pick the Republican/Democrat option is not a selling point.  And I feel sorry for the people that think that is their only choice or that by making it their life will change for the better.  They are mentally trapped and chained.  They are not free because they have ceded what they know is right and cling to the poor belief that choosing a slower death is the same as living.  They would rather choose a lesser evil than follow their convictions and struggle for a better and more honest system.  The “lesser evil” people don’t vote their own principles, they vote against someone else’s.

By participating in Hobson’s choices, they perpetuate a system of tyranny, corruption and destitution.  Refusing to participate is the more honest and frankly liberating option, but they remain in the mental trap of less evil must be good. It’s not.

I personally refuse to be part of the continuing problem, which is pretending that by choosing smaller evils we can one day become good.

If I am prevented, for whatever reason, the opportunity to vote for someone that is not a Statist, Keynesian, and Charlatan – then I do not vote.  And I do not EVER believe campaign promises.  I look at a candidate’s record and his associations and recorded writings – never promises.  “Hypocrisy can afford to be magnificent in its promises, for never intending to go beyond promise, it costs nothing.”  ~Edmund Burke

If you don’t vote, you have no right to complain. 

Do not fall for the, if you don’t vote, then you have no right to complain argument.  That is utter nonsense.  First of all, I am given by God the right and ability to speak.  If I choose to, I will complain with my dying breath.  But the people who claim I have no right to complain if I do not participate in my own enslavement are essentially saying that if I am mugged by two robbers at the same time and don’t choose one to take slightly less of my money, I have no right to complain about it!  That’s just absurd!  It is like Henry Ford saying I can have a car in any color I like, so long as it’s Black.  The American political system right now is essentially Morton’s Fork or a Hobson’s Choice – You can have any President you want, so long as it is one of two handpicked and establishment produced, equally corrupt, lying, statist, warmongering, debt increasing, freedom hating, banker and corporation controlled options.

I end by asking this:  If the Republicans and Democrats somehow cloned Stalin and Hitler and offered them to America as the two candidates, would the “lesser evil” proponents feel compelled to vote in such an election?  Could they ethically, morally, and honestly cast a vote for the “lesser” of two barbaric mass murderers and feel proud that their choice killed a million fewer people?  Could they claim with pride that they voted for good because the winner was less terrible and the people slightly less poverty stricken?   Or would the rational and moral choice be to refuse to consent to the election of either man -to refuse the contention that by voting for the lesser evil you have stopped evil?  By casting a vote, you are legitimizing the choices offered.  You would in this hypothetical, by casting a vote for the lesser evil, be advocating FOR the death of millions.  Would the “lesser evil” proponents really tell me that if I followed my conscience and principles by not opting for evil in either form, I am silenced forever from complaining about the evil I see and abhor?  I hope the answers are clear.  To me they are.

Freedom, Liberty, and the State – Great Quotes


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Listing other people’s quotations seems a lazy way to post on my blog.  Part of me feels guilty about being so unoriginal.  But the quotes I share below make me think and often lead me to continue my quest for education and for knowledge.  They inspire me.  They challenge preconceptions.  Some are sad reflections.  Some are vibrantly defiant.  Some are ironically humorous. And many of them have led to the start of essays I hope to finish and share one day.   There are dozens of quotes and thoughts about liberty and freedom that I admire.  Below are but a few.  Feel free to share some of your own favorite quotes on any topic in a comment.

“Force always attracts men of low morality.” ~ Albert Einstein

“Government is not reason, it is not eloquence, it is force; like fire, a troublesome servant and a fearful master.” ~ George Washington

“I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself.” ~ Aldous Huxley

“Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.” ~Mark Twain

“No man’s life, liberty or fortune is safe while our legislature is in session.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

“There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.” ~ Buddha

“Of all tyrannies a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. “ ~C.S. Lewis

“Political correctness is simply tyranny with manners.” ~ Charlton Heston

“The direct use of physical force is so poor a solution to the problem of limited resources that it is commonly employed only by small children and great nations.” ~ David Friedman

“Equality of opportunity is freedom, but equality of outcome is repression.” ~ Dick Feagler

“Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little.” ~ Edmund Burke

“We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home.” ~ Edward R. Murrow

“There can be no real freedom without the freedom to fail.” ~ Eric Hoffer

“Can any of you seriously say the Bill of Rights could get through Congress today? It wouldn’t even get out of committee.” ~ F. Lee Bailey

“But how is this legal plunder to be identified? Quite simply. See if the law takes from some persons what belongs to them and gives it to the other persons to whom it doesn’t belong. See if the law benefits one citizen at the expense of another by doing what the citizen himself cannot do without committing a crime. Then abolish that law without delay … No legal plunder; this is the principle of justice, peace, order, stability, harmony and logic.” ~ Frederic Bastiat

“Then what is freedom? It is the will to be responsible to ourselves.” ~ Friedrich Neitzsche

“He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

“In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.” ~ George Orwell

“[The average man] is not actually happy when free; he is uncomfortable, a bit alarmed, and intolerably lonely. Liberty is not a thing for the great masses of men. It is the exclusive possession of a small and disreputable minority, like knowledge, courage and honor. It takes a special sort of man to understand and enjoy liberty — and he is usually an outlaw in democratic societies.” ~ H.L. Mencken

“When A annoys or injures B on the pretense of saving or improving X, A is a scoundrel.” ~ H.L. Mencken

“The main thing that every political campaign in the United States demonstrates is that the politicians of all parties, despite their superficial enmities, are really members of one great brotherhood. Their principal, and indeed their sole, object is to collar public office, with all the privileges and profits that go therewith. They achieve this collaring by buying votes with other people’s money.” ~ H.L. Mencken

“Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule – and both commonly succeed, and are right.” ~ H.L. Mencken

“If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intent of doing you good, you should run for your life.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

“Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

“The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.” ~ Herbert Spencer

The Painting


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The painting on the living room wall

an ancient parisien street

But never have you actually looked at it

Never really wanted to

But sitting there with empty moments to fill

you look

study it, count the colors, figure out

what seems to be happening

The moments and minutes

float by

And soon you depart the room

and realize as you walk away

that the painting is a blur–nothing

all you can remember is feeling

so alone and lost

without her

Bluebonnets, Ingrid Bergman, and Cayenne Ice Cream – How to be happy.


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Want to be happier (or at least keep the negative, grouchy, irritable side of yourself in check)?

It’s a natural tendency to gripe and complain.  And many of us (I know I’m guilty) often get bent out of shape about the most inconsequential things.   Like someone cutting in front of you on the drive to work (which may have cost 2 whole extra seconds drive time!) or a waitress not pouring more coffee at the exact moment we wanted a refill or the phone at work keeps ringing.  Maybe your boyfriend or girlfriend didn’t call when they said they would or you dropped mustard on your favorite shirt.  How annoying right!?

But these are all really just minor inconveniences.  We all can have a tendency to dwell on them and let them ruin the day.   But each is almost always just a matter of not having things our way at the very moment we want, my expectations (or wants) aren’t being met and I focus on the negative part of any situation.  Those two things, unrealized expectations and dwelling on negatives, can ruin your day, your week, and before you know it you are a perpetual grouch!  It becomes a habit and a bad one.

So here’s my one simple tip to get you out of that funk.  (And if you are like me the first time I tried to do this, you’ll find it harder than you would guess – but it gets easier the more you do it).

Make a list of things you are grateful for!

It’s that simple.  It is hard, if not impossible, to remain in a foul mood when you are full of gratitude.  If you believe in a higher power or God, thank them for these things you are grateful for.  I know many people (those used to dwelling on the negative side of things) will say they don’t have anything to be grateful for.  Sure you do.  You can start small.  Think of anything that makes you smile, gives you pleasure or makes you happy and just say, “I’m grateful” for __________.

For instance:

  • I’m grateful for the worker at the market who offered me a sample of  “Queen City Cayenne” ice cream.  I tried it last weekend and it was delicious and unexpected.  A complex mixture of chocolate, cinnamon, and pepper that I really enjoyed.  I never thought pepper in ice cream would be, or could be, good.
  • I’m grateful that it didn’t rain when I went to the baseball game with my dad Tuesday night since I left the umbrella in the car. (and the home team won 18-3!)
  • I’m grateful that even though someone dinged my car the other day, at least I have a car to drive at all.  Many don’t.
  • I’m grateful for lemonade and ice tea mixed together.  It’s so refreshing in the summer.
  • I’m grateful for how happy my dog is when I come home.  It always puts me in a good mood – although I could pass on his overly strong penchant for licking my face.
  • I’m grateful when a song I love, like Van Morrison’s “Brown Eyed Girl”, comes on the radio.
  • I’m grateful for music.
  • I’m grateful for my job (even if the phone rings too much) Many people are struggling to make ends meet at all and don’t have a job.
  • I’m grateful for the popcorn at the movies.
  • I’m grateful for bluebonnet flowers.  Seeing even a picture of a field of bluebonnets makes me happy.  (see above)
  • I’m grateful for the movie “Casablanca” – the dialogue is so clever, I never get tired of it.  And Ingrid Bergman is still one of the most beautiful women I ever saw – extra grateful and worth another picture 😉 

Anyway, you get the idea.

Let your mind wander.  Yeah, it’s corny and may make you feel a bit awkward at first.  Most of us aren’t used to practicing gratitude.  But, if you think about it, there are hundreds of things to be grateful for each week.  And just reminding yourself of that fact can take you out of a negative frame of mind.

Maybe it will even become a habit.

The Invitation


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To the rhythmic sounds of Arabian music

I watched

In breathless rapture

your dance in the soft shadows

slowly undulating

The movements of your body creating

an unspoken invitation

and ceremonial union

of our adoration and our desire

I was charmed and seduced

by your love offering

in silent erotic form

The passion and love seemed to swirl

A harmonious fusion of our souls

your body- so lithe, so exquisite

signaling with every sway

your love for me

my eyes and my mind

received this unvoiced proposal

you to me

and left me awestruck and overcome

A dance by one

forged a union of two in time

forever yours

forever mine